Women and Burn Out – I See It Every Day
I do see it every day. I have worked in Remedial Massage for nearly four years now and so you can imagine why. I always get my general ache and pain clients, but a lot of people, particularly women, come in and they are as stiff as a board – head to toe.
I have some people who just got back from holidays at the end of January and by the end of March they are in need of another one.
I watch the stress in their lives affecting every part of their bodies, giving them headaches, trouble sleeping, a lowered immune system and so forth.
From what I read online it’s getting worse too with more children being diagnosed with Anxiety. So what’s going on and what can we do about it?
The Evil Word SHOULD
It’s a bad word that we use instinctively without even thinking about it. What’s so bad about it? It’s a guilt word about how we are not measuring up in our lives, how we are being too lazy or not good enough. “I should exercise more often” “I should have been smarter than that” “I should lose more weight” “I should study harder”.
Okay so sometimes we procrastinate and that’s not great, but did you stop and think that maybe you are actually giving life your best right now and you just are lacking perhaps the tools and support to get you to the next level? I’m not trying to let you off the hook here and pat you on the head and say it’s okay not to push yourself to the next level, but have a think about maybe what is holding you back from doing things you feel are important.
You SHOULDN’T have to do anything! Maybe you COULD instead? Say “could” instead of “should” and see how that feels. “I could exercise more often”. Doesn’t that sound more empowering? You have options!
The guilt that comes from not being good enough because you “should” do something definitely causes stress and anxiety.
Are your standards beyond your means?
High standards are a good thing absolutely, but we can take it too far. For example, I use to try to eat organic all the time, buy the best quality products and I wasn’t being real. I just couldn’t afford that stuff. I want to give my daughter the best of the best as we all do, but goodness isn’t black and white – it’s a scale.
Okay so I couldn’t afford organic produce, but I can afford fresh produce such as fruit and vegetables. I send my daughter off to school with carrot sticks, can corn, chicken, fresh fruit – whatever she’s into and I can do that. Okay so it’s not organic/free range but it’s heaps better than a lot of things.
Don’t forget a lot of us grew up with what we perceive now as a lot less, but for the most part we turned out okay, so just pour in the love and your family will too.
Just ask yourself, is this really worth it? Can I scale this back so I’m doing less or spending less money? Is eating non-organic produce doing more damage to your body then the stress of spending so much more money on food?
Just as a note, there are plenty of websites out there with tips on how to eat organic cheaply, but you will have to invest some time.
Also another note, if you are in Australia, a lot of people don’t know Sizzlers does take away (they don’t advertise it). I get it all the time – it’s $11 and you just line up and ask for “one take away”. You get a drink too. It’s cheap, easy and a healthy alternative if you are over subway. Ring them and check if you like 🙂
Are the people around you Energy Vampires?
I learnt about Energy Vampires unofficially when I was studying massage. The belief in Energy is not something that can be officially taught as it has little official scientific backing, but a lot of therapists will agree that sometimes you will work on a client and for some strange reason the client can walk out feeling absolutely regenerated whilst you are left very drained. I’ve had it happen to me numerous times earlier in my career but not so much anymore. It’s always the same clients too.
But this can happen in relationships too; you just get around a person, even an acquaintance, and just feel drained. There are the obvious drama queens of course and people who just continuously ask and don’t give back in a friendship too. It’s hard because even though we know these people are draining, they can be good people who have done a lot for us in the past, but the fact is if you are burning out they are not helping.
If they are true friends then a bit of distance at least for the mean time won’t harm the friendship. You don’t have to give them up, but maybe some distance to redefine the relationship so that you don’t get burnt out.
Do You Delegate Enough?
If you have a dishwasher please use it! Training your children is vital too. You are not the house slave, you are their mother, you work damn hard and you deserve respect. This is the real world and even a 2 year old can pick up after themselves – That’s life. They won’t be paid to clean their rooms as adults and their roommates won’t be able to stand them if they don’t pitch in.
Take advantage of technology where you can, there are a lot of free apps that will make your life easier. If you have to pay to have your food delivered instead of going to the supermarket then weigh that up too.
Things aren’t black and white, quite often they are a scale. At one end you have things like Mac Donald’s and the other you have Organic. It’s not one or the other and that applies to a lot of things. Don’t kill yourself at work – talk to management if you are not handling your job so that they are aware. A good company will take care of its workers, especially if you are a hard worker.
Make sure your kids aren’t over doing it too. There are so many incredible opportunities out there for children now, they don’t need to take them all and they are only children once. If the year twelves don’t get a good OP score then there are alternative entries to University – it’s not the end of the world.
Be real with your standards and create appropriate relationships with people who may unintentionally drain you. Delegate as much as you can to technology and don’t be the only one doing everything.
A possible solution for you…
I have come back from nearly being burnt out from all of this above and more. Just learning what to cut out of your life is important and taking time out for you. You can have what you dream of but maybe you just need to take smaller steps towards your goals or wait for the right time.
The solution for me to stop burning out was to control my environment and live life by my terms. Live where I want, earn money how I want it and be around the positive people who inspire me and help me move forward. I want to have it all and I know it’s about being proactive in life rather than being reactive.
I’m so passionate about that, and about helping you have it all in your own lives so that you don’t burn out but can be everything you want to be for your family and have your own dreams.
Please let me introduce you to them. If you click here and enter your email you will get a Free 7 Day Video Information Series with no obligation and you can learn more about them and see if they can help you the way they are helping me.
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