So I grew up in a church. Yeah. There is a massive emphasis on forgiveness in churches, and from a young child I was taught it was important to forgive everyone… for everything. But now as an adult I understand that there are a lot of myths around forgiveness, how exactly we are supposed to forgive, what it feels like when we have forgiven and when it’s better not to forgive.
As a child I felt tremendous stress trying to work out how to forgive and when I needed to “turn the other cheek”. I realise I have gotten it so wrong for so many years, because forgiveness does not mean you need to be a doormat. Nor is it always helpful and healing.
Let me explain why. (more…)
No culture is perfect. As far as things go, I don’t mind ours, but we do seem to have some pretty awful cultural myths that really bring us down. One of our biggest ones is held more in our subconscious, but seems to be a major theme in our lives – We are not enough.
We aren’t smart enough, good looking enough, have enough money, we work too much, we aren’t balanced. Too fat vs too thin; to obsessed vs not driven enough. There’s always a reason to feel down on ourselves that we aren’t meeting some imaginary bar.
As a mother, I think we can feel it the worst – because our parenting is judged so harshly.
Today I want to focus on the very obvious, but quite difficult cultural myth – You Are Enough.
Let’s dive in! (more…)
Being able to listen well, and have quality conversations, may possibly be the most important life skill you ever develop – and yet so many of us suck at it. There is so much to be learnt from others, when we really stop and listen. If we don’t listen, we don’t learn, and if we don’t learn, we never get any wiser.
In my previous post, The one thing most of us are guilty of that stops us helping others, I spoke about the importance of listening with empathy when our friends are in times of need. I realised as I wrote it how badly I need to improve my own conversation skills, so I’ve been researching the experts and this is what I’ve found. (more…)
We adore the people in our lives: our friend and family. We want to be with them when the celebrate victories, as well as when they are going through struggles. But can we sometimes unintentionally make bad things worse? Are we pushing our horror or outrage because of our own life experiences, onto the people we love, thus making a bad situation terrible? (more…)
Being able to heal and move forward from the pain of life is an important part to finding happiness, peace and fulfilment. I was raised as a Christian, so for years, particularly as a child/teenager, I tried to forgive all that had hurt me, as I was taught.
What I’ve learnt, is it’s a bit more complicated than that, and we shouldn’t be as hard on ourselves as we are.
Are these cultural myths holding you back from healing? (more…)
Experts agree, the key to happiness is quality, lasting relationships. It can be hard enough trying to check in with your friends and family with all of the hustle in our modern would. It’s tempting to put hubby on the back burner, but he should be up there as number one on the list (hey, we’re talking about your life partner here!). And even then, sometimes you want to be romantic, but you’re just plain broke or exhausted… or both!
Well my darlings, I have here for you a list of romantic ideas to keep the blood flowing to your love life. We all have different love languages, so pick and choose from the list here which ones would tickle both of your fancy! Here we go! (more…)